Daily Mess

Recently I had a conversation with a group of people about the intelligence of this generation and what they felt future generations would be like.  At first, most people said we would get more intelligent, we would solve many of the medical issues, and make great strides in knowledge.  Then someone said “studies show the smarter you are, the less children you have.  Those with the least education tend to have the most children.  Since intelligent people keep having fewer children, and the rest are having more than their share, would not the world end up increasing the number of people with less education and/or intelligence?  Would not the smart people die out?”

I have to admit it was an interesting idea and gave me a great deal to think about.  The first thing I thought was “I’m smart and had 4 kids, I did my share” and then I thought, maybe this is a possiblitiy, the world will get dumber.  How do we avert this potential disaster?”  I guess the answer and solution is actually simple.  Education.  Make education a priority for all income levels, all races, and all ages.  Get the kids when they are young and teach them how important learning is and instill in them a thirst for knowledge.  I believe that is the answer.  Keep everyone education and an education wihtin reach of any person at any point in thier life.

I have always had a thirst for knowledge.  Always searching, learning as much as possible and spending every waking moment in pursuit of a better life.  I’m not sure it can be taught, but I am sure it can be encouraged, and all it takes is reaching out to someone and showing them that knowledge opens doors and gives you a better life.  We all want that don’t we?

So grab a book, read to the kid next door, tutor that child who is struggling with match, spread your knowledge and your love of it.

When your child is born you gaze into it’s closed eyes, and marvel at how completely ugly this thing is. Oh sure, you tell all the folks he/she is beautiful, but deep down inside you are praying that this thing gets cuter as it gets older because if it stays looking this ugly, it will be at home with you forever.

For the first few months of its life you thank god daily that he has brought this most remarkable creature into your life, and at the same time wonder why on earth you decided to have kids in the first place. No one, and I mean no one likes shitty diapers, and they always shit right after you dress them up or right before you are about to sit down to the first meal you have managed to make this week because the other nights the kid would not shut up because it has colic. You develop a love/hate relationship with the child that continues…well…it continues forever.

Now most of you probably reading this say this is not true, you love your child, you adore it, yeah sure you do, but lets be realistic. Unless you are one of the few rich folks where money never matters this kid, and the ones that follow will suck you dry for ever penny you ever manage to make forever. They will disappoint you, make you age well before your time, add worry lines to your face thereby destroying any notion you ever had of being one of those hot MILF’s they are aways talking about. They drive you completely insane.

Truth be told, I would not have it any other way. My daughter will make me so angry with her one day, and gather me up in her arms and reassure me that everything is going to be ok another. As the years go by, the roles reverse and instead of you comforting your children when they fall, the comfort you. No one in your entire life will ever know you like your child does. They will see you at your worst, they will see you at your best and they will love you, with all of your faults, no matter what mistakes you have made…they just keep loving you, and they will love you until you take your last breathe.

My mother was not a saint, she was far from it. Her faults far surpassed her grace when it came to me, but I was smart enough to understand that even her faults could teach me. They could teach me a different way of doing things, they could teach me forgiveness, and they could teach me unconditional love. So when my mom found out she was dying she told me she was afraid, and she did not want to be alone when she died and so I made her a promise at that moment, that no matter what, when her time came I would be there holding her hand.

I gave up a lot to fulfill my promise, I stayed by her side, I moved into the hospital and my nights were spent with a chair pulled up next to her bed, my head resting on her bed and my hand holding hers tightly. I can’t explain how, but when her time came I woke up, and I just knew it was time to say goodbye… So I held one hand tightly and with the other I rubbed her arm and I told her I loved her, and I told her she didn’t need to be afraid, that I was there, and that it was ok to let go. My mom let go of life within moments and I sat there, afraid to let go of her hand, knowing it was her time, terrified she had not passed and afraid if I let go to call someone I would not be holding her hand when she left this world. So I sat with her for a few and then started calling out for my brother and he finally came in and I told him I thought she passed, but I wouldn’t let go until the nurse said she was gone, and even then I held on a little while longer.

Kids will drive you insane throughout your life, they are blood sucking leaches and will torment you every chance they get, and I am so thankful that I have four of them. They have taught me more than any book ever could, and each day I have them in my life is another day that I can learn to be a better person.

I find it so sad to see parents who shuffle off their kids, so eager to get them out of the way, so afraid the children will cramp their lifestyles. It is us old, run down parents who truly understand the gift they are. Yes, we are poor and yes we are tired but we earned every wrinkle and if you look at the wrinkles you will see they are laugh lines and the ones that look like they were made from tears, are usually tears of joy.

There are certain lessons you learn as a kid that seem to end up being hard coded into our psyche and become part of us whether we like it or not. I was taught that the way to get ahead, the way to get the things you want in life, the way to be happy was to work hard. The harder you work, the richer, the happier, the more blessed in life you will be. In my 20’s I lived by this like it was the golden rule. I always had at least one job, most of the time two, ran a house, took care of my young babies, gardened, painted and basically worked 18 hours a day.

When things didn’t go right, as was the case most of the time, I worked harder, and kept telling myself that all I had to do was keep working, work a few more hours a week, a few more hours a day and things would turn around. In my 30’s I called bullshit, but by then I didn’t know any other way to live. If hard work wasn’t the answer, what in the hell was? I was stumped, so all I could do, is to keep working. If I worked harder than everyone else, worked longer than anyone else, eventually it would change. I just needed a little more patience.

Now in my 40’s, I continue to work about 18 hours a day, 7 days a week and know that nothing is going to change, and I was sold up the river. Instead of telling me to work harder, my parents should have taught me to work smarter, and then STOP working and actually enjoy life. My entire life I have felt like I was swimming in a river against the current, battling the high waves, and the storms, and forcing myself ahead, but never making any progress. I continue to battle the current and wouldn’t you know it, but passing me by, going with the current are all of these people, relaxing on floating pool chairs, laughing while they enjoy a cocktail with a stupid umbrella in it. Sometimes I wish that I could just let go, to allow myself to float down stream with them, to laugh and let the current take me where it will, but with my luck, it will be right over a 1,000 foot waterfall to my death so I keep swimming.

I might have been sold down the river, but I won’t let it happen to my children. I tell them to do the things they want to NOW. To travel, to laugh, to have fun, to stop struggling, and just go with the flow. Don’t fight the current, just enjoy the ride down the river of life, because life is too short for regrets and spending your entire life working and never taking the time to figure out what you are working for certainly isn’t the answer.

So today I make a toast to all of those people floating effortlessly down that river having a blast, keep going, never look back and enjoy your life!